It's Christmas...

In the spirit of Christmas today, I have been sending messages of love and admiration to those I care about. Through my journey this morning I have found myself in tears and reflecting on my emotions. Sometimes it can be scary sharing how you feel with people, but it is something that should always be done.

Through the struggles with my mom it has taught me to realize that the world doesn't tel each other enough how much we love our friends and family. We get sucked in to the grind of work and life duties that we forget to stop and share love. We forget to spread joy.

As I reflect on the year I find myself thinking back to all the times I have focused on friends and family. Times were I have allowed myself to be fully present in the moment. Those are the times I am happiest. I am happiest just being with people, loving people. I'm happy just being my true self.

I am excited to continue my kindness journey in 2014 . I hope I can show others the magic of kindness and continue to make the world a better place.

Feed your soul...

Sometimes I forget how much I need to feed my soul. I thrive on creativity and observing the work of others. I get so distracted sometimes by the daily comings and goings that I remember to eat, but not feed my soul. I also don't realize how starved my soul is until I give it a heaping dose of art, playfullness, creativity and fun.

When I take the time to fuel my needs and focus on things I love, I feel totally refreshed. It's like a reset. I'm reset to just be myself, it's like seeing my true reflection. 

Over the past few weeks I've been feeding my soul. I've been focusing on art and creativity. I've been spending time with people I care about, singing again and just doing what I want when I want.

Through my soul feeding I've learned a few things. One, I need human affection, seriously need it. When you live alone you really are alone. So I've been focusing on hugging more abd interacting more with the people i care about. Two, I love and trust too easily, but I'm okay with it. If I don't allow myself to love, then I'll become bitter and mean. I don't like being mean. Three, I am beautiful, I've been so hard on myself about my body, but eff it. I'm beautiful, I'm awesome. Four, I have really great people in my life, I should tell them mire how much I love them. Five, I'm really happy, truly happy.

Life is an journey, so um just going to ride the train, and see where it takes me. If my soul is hungry I am going to feed it, if my heart is aching I'm going to heal it and if my mind gets clouded I am going to clear it.

It's almost like sleeping. I feel as though I  was taking a nap on myself, but now I have awakened.

Be kind to yourself...

First, I should tell you about miracles... We're still waiting to hear it from the cancer doctor, but it could be that my mom may be cancer free! Her primary care doctor says her scans look that way. I'm excited but am waiting to hear it from her cancer doctor.

I went to the doctor myself today, and was given a whole new list of new medications and the whole spiel about how I need to loose weight. Which I have been trying, I've pretty much cut out sodas from my diet and I am looking in to eating more protein. I shared these things with my doc but I still felt he may be beginning to get frustrated with me. Also when I weighed myself a few days ago I had lost twenty pounds, so if I am retaining twenty pounds of fluid than something might need to be looked at.I'm tired of being in constant pain, and I don't want to start to feellike my pain is nothing. Who knows maybe doc was having a bad day, maybe I was just over thinking his words of wisdom. Either way I felt like a fat, hopeless case when I left.

Needless to say I cried on the phone with my mom. In the midst of my crying I decided to do something for myself. I was reminded I need to be kind to myself. So I called my best friend and asked her to go with me.

I decided I was going to buy something that made me feel pretty. Something to make me feel nice, something to prove to myself that I am beautiful. I bought a dress at target. It was really cute and looked very nice. I say was because well, I took it back. :(

Don't worry though! I took it back because we  went to dress barn next door. I found a better dress for cheaper, and an adorable skirt! The dress made me feel pretty, and skinny and refreshed and the skirt made me feel flirty and fun. Both these items were the same price as the target dress. So I took the target dress back. I also bought myself some music and socks.

I'm glad I decided to treat myself. Sometimes we just need to be kind to ourselves and remember our true selves. I remembered today that I am beautiful no matter what, besides true beauty is really from the soul and I definitely have a lovely soul.


Oh, I also got some more blank cards, so send me some kindness dares! I need some ideas. :)

Miracles happen..

I'll write more later, but you should know that miracles can happy.

You always get what you need when you need it..

I'm a firm believer that you will always get what you need when you need it, even if you don't even know you needed it.

I've had a lot of people come in and out of my life, people always seemed to be coming and going and I never used to understand why so many people would just up and leave, elimintaing our ties of friendship. I would be really hard on myself thinking it was something I did, thinking I wasn't a good person,angry with myself for letting them go. It took me a long time to realize that they were in my life for the purpose they were intended for. Some of them taught me not to care what others think, some of them taught me that friendships/relationships are hard, some of them have taught me how to forgive. With out each of those people I wouldn't be who I am today, I didn't realize those lessons at the time, but reflecting back, I was getting what I needed from each of those experiences. I'm still learning, but I now know every person I meet, every interaction I have now  has a purpose. I can honestly say that right now I am in the place I need to be, even though everything is not all great, it's just were I am supposed to be.

One of my favorite quotes from Helen Keller is:  

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” 

I encourage you to stop looking at your closed doors and search for the open ones. Find peace in something.

I now leave you with a story from our gifting experience last week. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am thankful my friends and I were able to give you hope. Enjoy your bracelets and have a wonderful day!

My nephews, my daughter, and I had received free bracelets from you and you gave me a dare...

It said to call someone that I haven't talked to in a long time, and tell you how it went.
I called a few people, that I am trying to forgive, because I need them back in my life, but no answers or response.
Then I remembered your name. Michelle.
My friend Michelle passed away about two years ago.
She died of Heart failure at age 41. She had the heart of an angel and wished I could call her in Heaven.

I truly miss her. She was a ditsy blonde with blue blue eyes. She was missing front teeth, but her smile always had a glow.
She cheered me on 5 years ago when I had Breast Cancer. We always bought each other little gifts. She loved Flip-Flops,
so I purchased many things for her. She always bought me Pink Ribbon things. I keep one of them on my key chain.

I often wonder how our friendship would have grown had she not left us...her son, who is 20, won't be going thru the struggle that he is going thru now.
I reach out to him, but I remind him of his mom, and he backs up a bit. I pray of him, for her sake. She is watching over him, but he is still pissed.
I understand him as I lost my mother at age 22. I am now 42. I have come to accept that I cannot change what happened.
To live in Peace with what has happened, and to move onwards to help as many people as I can.

I keep by FB stream clean, sort of. I love to Laugh, so I post many silly things. Other than that, it is all Inspiration quotes, and beautiful pictures of nature and animals.
It soothes my tensed nerves and brings me hope every day.

Thank You Michelle, for what you do.
You give me HOPE that there are still amazing Human Beings that care for people!
Please keep up your great work!.
If you need my help, please contact me any time!



 

Just because...

"Why are you guys giving away free jewelry?"

Just because..  

I've been away for a long time, I haven't had much to write about, I've been dealing with the fibromyalgia and my crazy emotions under stress. The cold weather has activated more joint pain than I was expecting. Despite my struggles I'm still focusing on living the kind life.

Over the past few weeks I've been spending my free time making bracelets for my friend's gifting. (gifting is exactly what it sounds like, he gives away free stuff, with no strings attached, just because! Who doesn't love free?) I used to make jewelry all the time, but lost interest because I wanted everything to be perfect, and most of the time it never came out perfect, despite the imperfections I still had joy in the craft.When my friend mentioned his latest gifting endeavor, I knew I wanted to help. Naturally the first bracelet I made didn't come out perfect, but it was still cool, and I kind of liked it. The next bracelet wasn't perfect either, nor the next. They weren't perfect but they were still cool. I kept making bracelets.  As I made them my mind was occupied, I forgot about all the stress. I also realized that not perfect is my thing. (just like crying;)) I'm not perfect, nothing I do is perfect. My imperfections are my greatest strengths. I'm cool, I'm funky, I'm free and I'm me. I'm awkward and funny, creative and sensitive. I can be a little too hard on myself but I really love who I am. So I knew the bracelets were not perfect but they were me and I knew I would be contributing to something that helps spread joy and kindness.

Today we went to Carytown and gave out the free jewelry. With every one's combined contributions there were about eighty pieces.

My favorite thing about today was watching people process the thought of free jewelry with no catch. Many were wary, and ignored our attempts. Others were overjoyed. So many people walked away happy, with smiles on their faces.

I like to believe that kindness can save lives. From all the smiles I saw today I know it can. We made so many people's day! strangers could be going through the worst thing ever, but our bracelet made their day! Were all in this together, lets gift the gift of joy and remember it's not always a bad idea to take candy from strangers! :)

Thanks to my dear friend who always keeps kindness in his heart and is an inspiration to others. Check out his gifting project. Candy from Strangers

Exhausted...

I'm  so tired lately... I've have two drafts waiting to be finished and published, but I am so tired. Maybe I'll have time this weekend.

Car ride discos and kindness between the pickle jars...

Ok  I admit it.... I am stressed out! I'm so stressed out that I've become rather fragile. One wrong word and im in the bathroom crying at work, or in my car.

It's not that I don't think I can't handles the stress, because I can. I just think that something in the cosmos lately has made me hypersensitive to everything.

It could be the fibromyalgia, it could be the new medicine for the fibromyalgia, it could be the forces of womanly nature descending upon me, or it could just be that I have a lot going on.

Thankfully I have a cure, dancing the disco in my car.

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon hanging with my kid brother for his 20th birthday. As he has gotten older we have grown to not only be closer siblings but great friends. My brother is probably the funniest person I know.we communicate in funny accents, weird facial expressions and sarcasm.

Yesterday, for his birthday we decided to go check out the Halloween stuff at Target, it's one of our favorite things to do around this time of year. (On a side note: they already have Christmas stuff out. Bananas!!) On our way home a disco song came on and we started car dancing.

At first  we were dancing just because, but then other cars started noticing. We were making people laugh.no one could hear the music but us, but they could see we were having fun. We were creating or own joy.

One guy had the biggest grin on his face, and I could tell we made his day.

In that moment I forgot all the stress on my mind and body and I just moved with the music. I found my cure and it was as simple as just dancing a little.

P.S. There have been no new kindness dare emails. There are cards out there floating around, but maybe all I needed was one response.

Since the one response I've been able to see more kindness in general. For example my coworker just told me the other day she left a kindness dare in between the pickle jars at the grocery store. I'm happy knowing that I've made a difference somewhere, and I'll keep faith knowing that I'll get another email when I need it the most.

The power of a hug..

Sometimes we all just need a hug.

To ask for a hug can often times be a difficult thing. I know that seems weird to say because hugs just tend  to happen. However, Sometimes when we need that hug the most, no one knows.

Someone hugged me the other day just because, and it reminded me of the significance of human touch.

As I dare myself and  others to be more kind, I've been thinking a lot about the power of human touch. To be connected to another human is magical. A simple gesture such as lightly tapping someones arm, grabbing someone's hand in excitement and a gentle hug, can snap us back into presence and remind us that we should focus on sharing a moment with someone instead of sharing it with our thoughts.

 I've become aware that personally  I need some extra hugs these days. There has been a lot going on in my life.  I've also become aware that the best way to get more hugs is to give them.

So I'm daring myself to hug more, to reach out more, to be present in moments. If you know me and you catch me getting stuck in my head, snap me back in to reality. Remind me to live in the moment. Not only am I daring myself, I'm daring you. I triple dog dare you, to hug more, cuddle more, love more.

Some people get so wrapped up in thoughts and emotions that they never let anyone close. Never let any one hug them,never let any one console them,never let anyone love them.  I can't live like that. We can't live in a world were our whole existence is based on touch and nobody connects. It would just be unnatural, but I feel like more and more each day people are disconnecting from others more than they are connecting.

 If we ignore the basic need of being connected to others it eliminates the need for empathy, kindness, love and hope.

No one wants to live in a hopeless world.

Again, I dare you.. REACH OUT AND TOUCH SOMEBODY( just not in a creepy way!)

Also, I leave you with this wonderful video I came across 2 weeks ago, all about a kind soul who believes in the power of hugs and love.

It takes a little courage.. and little time.. but we have our first story!

Someone responded!

I must admit I was starting to wonder if all my efforts were really worth it and if anyone out there would really be brave enough to actually do something.

Then three things happened:

1. My mom has been very sick lately and spending a lot of time in and out of the hospital. She's part of the reason I started this mission in kindness, because even on her hardest days she still thinks about others. She makes sure I am adjusting to my new apartment well and that no matter what I have all the encouragement and love I need to be a successful woman. Thinking about her makes me want to always be compassionate, always make others understand their importance and never pass judgement on anyone.

So I went to visit my mother on Saturday in the cancer hospital, and because I was afraid and I knew others were probably feeling the same emotions I was, I placed a post-it note in the elevator that said "Never give up hope."

2. Yesterday I went to visit her again and found my note still placed in the elevator. Still there. I was so moved by this,because even though I left the note for others to find, it was there when I needed it. I shared this with my friends and family on Facebook.

My dad commented later that evening and said that someone left a note in the other elevator that said "Have faith."  Even though I don't know who left the note, we are now connected by our small acts of kindness.

3. Today I thought about not checking on my blog, but something inside me said " You check it everyday, you have to check it today, why would you not check it today?"

When I check on the blog I first go to the stats page, this shows me when someone has viewed the page. I was expecting to see the number 89. It's been 89 for 2 weeks now. It wasn't 89, It was 90. 90! Wait 90! Someone looked! I then immediately checked the email... Holy crap balls! Someone left a message!

I read it, and then I cried. Crying is kind of my thing, if you haven't figured that out already. It is worth it, everything I am doing, is worth every thought, every smile, every gift, every phone call, every joke, every hug. Everything is worth it.

It's always amazing to me how when you need something the most, when you're tired, scared,lonely or in pain from an ailment, it just pops up. Whatever you need just shows up and reminds you that we are all connected and we all need kindness, love and hope.

Without further ado, I share with you our first story!

I sent someone an encouraging note on Facebook.  I've met the fellow a couple of times in passing.  He's a pretty amazing character.  He walks on stilts with costumes and does things like visiting nursing homes and riding handicapped people around on a special bike he has.  They call him Stilted Saint and it's a fitting title.  Anyway I sent him a message letting him know that he's practically a super hero and that his work inspires others.  I also ask what motivated him.  He was kind enough to share his thoughts and invited me to hang out with him this fall when we'll be at the same event. 

:)

Who ever you are, Thank you for your bravery!

Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it...

I've been talking a lot. A lot about my project. I'm finding that talking about it is an amazing adventure in its self. Each person I share the project with ask to take a card. I'm finding that giving cards away is  almost more exciting than leaving them in random places.

Sharing my idea with people has stimulated some amazing conversations. I'm so excited to hear people's thoughts and views on kindness. Those who take a card have all asked:  once I complete my dare what do you want me to write about?

If you have a card or find a card you can write anything about your kindness dare. How did it make you feel? What challenges did you face? How did the other person react? Did you learn anything from the experience?

I want to hear and share your stories. We are all connnected, we just need to be rinsed every on e in a while.

How will "Dare to be kind" work?

I plan for dare to be kind to be an experiment in kindness and bravery.

I've written out 20 cards with dares on them. All of the dares are related to kindness. For example, "I dare you to compliment a stranger" or " I dare you to bring someone flowers."

I'll then place the cards in random places around the Richmond, VA area. The cards have instructions to share the results of the kindness dare at the following email address and blog:

• Email: kindnessdares@gmail.com
• Blog: daretobekind.blogspot.com

Once I begin to receive stories, I'll start posting them on the blog to spread the word and acknowledge the bravery of complete strangers.

I've never been more excited about something in my whole life. All the cards have been written and will be released in to the world this week.

I have an idea, a big idea!

If my car could talk it probably would tell you  I am kind of weird. It might also tell you that I'm funny, I cry a lot, I drive like every thing is an emergency and I come up with some pretty cool ideas.I was driving in my car when I came up with my latest creative epiphany.

Things have been rough lately. My mom is sick with cancer, work is stressful and I'm adjusting to a new apartment. I sometimes get so overwhelmed I don't know which direction is up. It's nothing I can't handle, but with all the insanity I've been dealing with I really need something I can focus positive energy on.

So it was in my car where I started thinking "What can I do that is just good?". I did a lot of thinking  about kindness. I concluded that to be kind it takes a lot of reminding and a lot of bravery. I got stuck on the bravery thing. To be kind you do have to be brave. You never know how the other person will react. You may  feel awkward smiling at a stranger, or giving someone a compliment. You may feel like no one is kind so therefore you should not be either. You have to face your fears and just do it. You have to dare yourself to be kind.

Dare yourself to be kind. Dare to be kind. That's it, that's my thing. Dare to be kind is my big idea!

When it hit me I let out a little scream of joy and I cried. I told you already I cry a lot. I cried because I was so happy I finally have found something I can focus on.  Something happy, something joyful, something brave. I cried because I knew I was finding peace in all the chaos that had hit me over the past few weeks.